parenting counselor for family stress
in-person in St. George & online across utah
The return of quality family time
life with older kids doesn’t look the way you expected it to.
growing up, you said you’d never be like your parents, but you can’t believe what just came out of your mouth to your own kids.
maybe it’s been a quiet evolution over time and you don’t know how you got here.
when you dreamed of having a family, this is nothing what life looked like.
it can feel like you can’t win.
Perhaps your family has been through a lot. Maybe you have older kids who are struggling, or who just came out, and you have no idea how to support them. It can be gut-wrenching to watch your kids experience pain and you wish there was a simple way to take it all away.
Setting boundaries with a teen is tough and everyone is selling a strategy. You just feel overwhelmed and are worried about your kid’s future and well-being, but it feels like no one can reach them anymore.
Perhaps you keep hearing how important it is for parents to "do their own work,” but you don’t know what that means or how to get it. Communication at home is an uphill battle—let alone navigating screen time and boundaries with extended family. You’re notified about something about your teen, and you think how am I supposed to control my kid?
Even though you have your stance on things as an experienced parent, you’re at a loss. The same issues keep resurfacing. You’re criticized no matter what, whether too strict, too laid back, house too clean or too dirty, wanting a life outside the home or staying home.
Sound familiar?
I see you.
Your kids have become more independent. The time you have left is limited and feels precious to you, so you want to make the most of it, but reality doesn’t match up.
You feel yourself floundering as your life beyond being a parent has crept up on you. What happens when you’re not needed as much, or needed in different ways than ever before? It is heavy.
Maybe you’re realizing how disconnected you are in your relationships, or perhaps the demands in this stage of parenting have pulled you and your partner further apart. Some days it can feel like your older kids’ behaviors are pushing you to your limits.
Maybe you’re thinking about a forgotten career or trying to juggle new demands at work with family life these days. You just can’t keep up with everything. This is harder than when they were babies. You’re not literally carrying them anymore, but you weren’t prepared to carry all this emotionally.
There are a lot of changing dynamics in your family, and you never thought you’d be here. The ways you’ve managed family struggles in the past aren’t working anymore—it all feels bigger than you can handle now.
Explore
spoiler alert: the perfect parent doesn’t exist.
In therapy together, we work towards your goals by exploring your story and how it affects your parenting today. All our work is focused on growing your self-awareness. Discover how things start to shift in your life as you give yourself more compassion and understand how little in life in sheer coincidence.
identify
The root cause
We’ll get there together for you to find more patience through insight, and understand yourself—and therefore your partner or kids, better. We will explore how the ways you protect your pain from others, can hurt the ones you love the most. Together, you will find ways to interrupt generational patterns so you can intentionally and meaningfully connect with your family. We’ll get to the roots so that you can have a healthy sense of self as you navigate your life.
uncover
What matters to you
As we strengthen your self-awareness, it can unlock ways for you to navigate life as your kids grow up. We will uncover your feelings as your own to work through so that they don’t fall onto your children (likely the way they fell onto you from your parents). Together, we can break cycles so that your focus is being your whole self—and you will inadvertently offer the greatest gift to your children in doing so.
why start with you?
+ Focusing on yourself is the most powerful and effective thing anyone can do, and, ultimately, it’s the only thing you can control. Ironically, when you focus on what’s in your control, you are more likely to influence your kids to do the same as well.
+ When life doesn’t go as planned, parenthood entails some aspect of grieving.
+ Imagine giving yourself permission to scoop up “little you” and offering them what they needed and didn’t get when they were little, only to find that you then don’t unintentionally fall into exactly what you hoped to avoid in your own life and family.
BRainspotting for parents
+ A brainspotting session starts with an emotionally charged issue, and it’s certain that our children have and will activate our nervous system. Brainspotting is proven to address anxiety, stress, and chronic pain. Often, on your own, you can locate a field of vision or place in your body that you notice an increase of emotions or sensations. Exploring that “brainspot” with an experienced therapist invites processing from the bottom-up and from the inside-out, which means lasting changes with stubborn blocks. Many clients talk about symptoms that kept resurfacing in their lives to be accessed and discharged through healing with brainspotting.
If you’re ready to…
01
Navigate unexpected challenges in your home with confidence.
02
Get to the roots of things that contribute to family conflicts by balancing a sense of self and knowing your boundaries.
03
Have more courage to talk about hard things with your kids.
04
Experience your kids wanting to come to you, even as they grow into adults.
you can…
Find freedom from the constant pushback.
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When we think about the family as a system, like a bicycle, when a part is not functioning it is a sign of how all the parts are working together; each person plays a role to the overall functioning of the family unit.
Seeing an individual within the context of their family constellation allows important dynamics to be considered and reveals things that are easily pushed to the corner of our consciousness as sheer coincidences—when they are often key to finding our own happiness and wellbeing.
Therapy for families can help with improved communication, understanding family dynamics, conflict resolution, strengthening relationships, addressing behavioral issues, coping with transitions and life changes, crisis intervention, promoting healthy boundaries, building resilience, or, for a specific issue.
Willingness improves outcome, of course.
It is important upon outset we set clear expectations to the nature of the relationship for therapy when working with family members and, when needed, to address any potentially conflicting roles.
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One of the top struggles reported today by seasoned parents is technology and screen time.
Understandably, when you consider what it opens up.
Additional struggles often include, but are not limited to, balancing work and family life, parenting during the age of social media, recognizing and addressing mental health issues in both themselves and children, working through stigmas that can come with that, education and schooling, financial pressures, dealing with societal pressures, balancing individual needs and family needs, cultural or generational differences, and even global challenges.
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Sure, we could conceptualize broad phases for the sake of framework:
Anticipation and pregnancy
Infancy
Early childhood
School-aged years
Adolescence
Young adulthood
Empty next
Grandparenthood
But it’s more important to note that these are generalizations and individual experiences vary, especially when we consider the modern family. Each season comes with its own joys and challenges, and opportunities for growth and connection.